you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
