Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
