Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
