Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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