shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You smell like stripper and shame
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Alive.
So much puke
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize