He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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