I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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