Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
