I hate your face
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
