My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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