i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
