you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
