Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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