he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
