honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize