Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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