...so i touched it.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
