New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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