I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
