that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize