My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
