i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
