whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
