Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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