Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
