You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
