Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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