I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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