thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
