I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
