Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize