Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
