best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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