Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize