Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
