It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
