Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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