How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
