38 yer olds are good kisserssss
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
