Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
