woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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