What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
