You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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