I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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