whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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