No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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