And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
