You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
