i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize