Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
