My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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