Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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