The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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