is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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