dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
