i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
