dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
