NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
