her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
