It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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