just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
