So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Couch. On fire.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
