I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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