New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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