I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
