so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
