the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
