Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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