Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
