fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize