So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
