I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
