There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
