then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
