don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
