I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
