xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
