What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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