As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
