YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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