He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I believe in your delicious
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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